I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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