she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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