Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
