dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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