i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
