Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
