HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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