She is in my trunk
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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