ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
