I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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