Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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