You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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