You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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