He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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