its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
