Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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