is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
