party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
