I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize