My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
