just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
