We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
