idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
