I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
