Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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