I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
