If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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