My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
