nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You ruined the universe
Randomize
