based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
