awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
