Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize