the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We just shotgunned beers for America
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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