so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I want a musical about memes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
