we're blogging at a bar
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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