This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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