Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
