And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
