Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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