we made out on top of his cat.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
