once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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