high people should be assigned attendants
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
