idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
