Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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