And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
