just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish you could order shots online.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
