dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
