So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
