walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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