remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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