I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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