Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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