If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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