Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
