Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
