we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
